How to Rebuild Trust After a Betrayal

A couple being sad

One of the most difficult challenges in a relationship is recovering from betrayal and restoring trust. While some relationships survive without ever addressing the issue of trust, it’s often worth your while to do what you can to rebuild your partner’s confidence in you and your relationship. If this isn’t done, your relationship is likely to suffer for years.

Here are some suggestions that you can use to help restore trust after experiencing betrayal from your partner:

1. Show Your Partner How Much You Care About Them and the Relationship

Your partner needs to know how much they mean to you and how committed you are to the relationship. To many, actions speak louder than words, so it’s important to make a conscious effort to spend quality time with your partner. Cook a meal together, go on a picnic at the park, or go out dancing.

This quality time will allow you and your partner to reacquaint yourselves and rekindle the relationship after the betrayal. It will also give you the opportunity to express your feelings for each other in a positive way that reinforces your commitment to one another.

2. Be Honest and Open About Your Feelings

It can be difficult for your partner to know what you’re thinking or feeling if you don’t share these thoughts with them. However, it’s important that you are honest about your feelings concerning infidelity, pornography use, or other forms of betrayal.

Your partner may not want to talk about what happened or they may be unsure of how to bring up the subject themselves. If this is the case, try and initiate the conversation, but be open about how difficult it is for you.

3. Give Your Partner Space When They Need It

Even though you want to work on regaining trust in your relationship, it’s important to give your partner space when they need it. If they don’t feel like talking about their feelings with you, respect that and allow them to work through things in their own time.

Trust issues can be some of the most difficult things to overcome in a relationship. After your partner has betrayed your trust, it can be hard to ever feel comfortable trusting them again. However, it’s important to try and rebuild that trust.

4. Be Patient with Your Partner

It’s important that you understand your partner may experience mood swings or bouts of depression after an incident of infidelity, particularly if it was a one-time affair rather than something ongoing over an extended period of time.

Try not to take it personally if they are snappy or irritable towards you, as this is often a way for them to cope with what has happened without lashing out at the person they feel hurt by.

5. Don’t Blame Yourself for What Happened

It’s common to blame yourself after your partner has been unfaithful. However, you really need to appreciate that infidelity is often down to the individual who chose to be unfaithful and not yourself. These are often symptoms of betrayal trauma.

Betrayal trauma is a condition that can develop in individuals who have been betrayed by someone they trust, such as a significant other.

When experiencing betrayal trauma, you may often feel a range of intense emotions, such as disbelief, hurt, anger, and betrayal. This is normal and can be helped with counseling.

6. Be Patient with the Process of Rebuilding Trust

It’s important to understand that rebuilding trust can be a difficult process and that it’s rarely something that happens overnight. You may find yourself having to repeat these steps several times before your partner begins to feel confident that you’re committed to the relationship and won’t do anything to jeopardize it again.

If you and your partner are struggling with rebuilding trust after a betrayal, consider contacting Solace Emotional Health. Our licensed therapists have years of experience helping couples recover from betrayal trauma.

We can help you work through the difficult emotions you’re experiencing and help you rebuild the trust in your relationship. Contact us today to make an appointment.